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Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistant or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return.
Kindness is a topic of interest in philosophy, religion, and psychology. Kindness was one of the main topics in the Bible. In Book II of "Rhetoric", Aristotle defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped".[1] Nietzsche considered kindness and love to be the "most curative herbs and agents in human intercourse".[2] Kindness is considered to be one of the Knightly Virtues.[3] In Meher Baba's teachings, God is synonymous with kindness: "God is so kind that it is impossible to imagine His unbounded kindness!"[4]
History
In English, the word kindness is from approximately 1300, though the word's sense evolved to its current meanings in the late 1300s.[5]
Over time, it has acted in part of a personality trait as a long tradition of generosity through human cultures and family-friendly benefits in the concept of hospitality.
In society
In human mating choice, studies suggest that both men and women value kindness in their prospective mates, along with intelligence, physical appearance, attractiveness and age.[6][7]
Nice guy
A "nice guy" is an informal and usually stereotypical term for an (often young) adult male who portrays himself as gentle, compassionate, sensitive, and/or vulnerable.[8] The term is used both positively and negatively.[9] When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others.[10] In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy, and respect. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating (in which the term is often used[8]), uses acts of ostensible friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.[11][12]
In psychology
Based on experiments at Yale University using games with babies, some studies concluded that kindness is inherent to human beings.[13] There are similar studies about the root of empathy in infancy[14] – motor mirroring developing in the early months of life,[15] to lead (optimally) to the concern shown by children for their peers in distress.[16]
Barbara Taylor and Adam Phillips have stressed the element of necessary realism in adult kindness, as well as the way "real kindness changes people in the doing of it, often in unpredictable ways".[17]
In literature
- The Tirukkural, an ancient Indian work on ethics and morality, dedicates a chapter to kindness (chapter 8, verses 71–80), furthering the value in other chapters, such as hospitality (verses 81–90), uttering pleasant words (verses 91–100), compassion (verses 241–250), moral vegetarianism (verses 251–260), non-violence (verses 311–320), non-killing (verses 321–330), and benignity (verses 571–580), among others.[18][19]
- Mark Twain from a compassion point of view considered "Kindness [as a] language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."[20]
- It has been suggested that "most of Shakespeare's opus could be considered a study of human kindness".[21]
- Robert Louis Stevenson considered that 'the essence of love is kindness; and indeed it may best be defined as passionate kindness: kindness, so to speak, run mad and become importunate and violent'.[22]
- The Christian apostle Paul lists kindness as one of the nine traits considered to be the "fruit of the Spirit" [23] in Galatians 5:22. In 1 Corinthians 13:4 he states, "Love is patient, love is kind."[24]
In media
The motion picture Pay it Forward, based on the novel of the same name written in 1999 by the founder Catherine Ryan Hyde, which starred Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, Haley Joel Osment and Jon Bon Jovi, illustrates the power one person can have to make an impact on a chain reaction of kind deeds. The philosophy of Pay It Forward is that through acts of kindness among strangers, we all foster a more caring society. In the book and film, Reuben St. Clair, a social studies teacher in Atascadero, California, challenges his students to "change the world". One of his students, Trevor, takes the challenge to heart. He starts by showing kindness to a stranger which ripples further than he could have ever imagined.
In October 2011, Life Vest Inside posted a video called "Kindness Boomerang".[25] It shows how one act of kindness passes seamlessly from one person to the next and boomerangs back to the person who set it into motion. Orly Wahba, Life Vest Inside Founder and Director of Kindness Boomerang explains that each scene was based on real-life experiences she personally went through; moments of kindness that left a lasting impression on her life. Within several months after its release, Kindness Boomerang went viral; reaching over 20 million people globally and eventually invadingWahba spot on TED2013[26] stage to speak about the power of kindness.
Singer-songwriter Harry Styles has been promoting kindness since at least 2017 with his slogan 'Treat People with Kindness', also abbreviated to 'TPWK'.[27]
Teaching Kindness
Kindness is most often taught from parents to children and is learned through observation and some direct teaching. Studies have shown that through programs and interventions kindness can be taught and encouraged during the first 20 years of life.[28] Further studies show that kindness interventions can help improve wellbeing with comparable results as teaching gratitude.[29] Similar findings have shown that organizational level teaching of kindness can improve wellbeing of adults in college.[30] Kindness is not present as a course in most institutions. Numerous religions teach their members to be kind and religiosity is associated with greater wellbeing and longevity.
Self-kindness
See also: self-compassion
Self-kindness means to act in a generous and considerate manner when oneself is going through pain, struggles or hardships as opposed to ignoring them or being self-criticizing. This is different from self-esteem, which is more of an evaluation of oneself, where self-kindness is more about how one treats themselves. Self-kindness, as with other forms of kindness, is shown to improve wellbeing and longevity. What is theorized by David Snowden is that the ability to return to a positive affect when going through a negative life event or stresses is what allows a person to be healthier and happier. It is about acknowledging the hardships and struggles in life and realizing that there is still room to grow and learn while experiencing these things.
See also
References
- ^ Aristotle (translated by Lee Honeycutt). "Kindness". Rhetoric, book 2, chapter 7. Archived from the original on December 13, 2004. Retrieved 2005-11-22.
- ^ Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm. "On the History of Moral Feelings," Human, all too human: a book for free spirits. Aphorism 48. [Original: Menschliches, Allzumenschiles, 1878.] Trans. Marion Faber with Stephen Lehman. University of Nebraska Press: First Printing, Bison Books, 1996.
- ^ "The Manual of Life - Character". Parvesh singla – via Google Books.
- ^ Kalchuri, Bhau (1986). Meher Prabhu: Lord Meher, 11, Myrtle Beach: Manifestation, Inc., p. 3918.
- ^ "Kindness | Etymology, origin and meaning of kindness by etymonline".
- ^ Buss, David M., et al. "Sex differences in jealousy: Evolution, physiology, and psychology." Psychological science 3.4 (1992): 251-255
- ^ Gleitman, Henry; Gross, James; Reisberg, Daniel. Psychology (8th ed.).
- ^ a b McDaniel, A. K. (2005). "Young Women's Dating Behavior: Why/Why Not Date a Nice Guy?". Sex Roles. 53 (5–6): 347–359. doi:10.1007/s11199-005-6758-z. S2CID 51946327.
- ^ divalion (12 July 2005). "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Archived from the original on 17 January 2013.
- ^ Glover, Dr. Robert, http://nomoremrniceguy.com
- ^ Blomquist, Daniel (2 April 2014). "When nice guys are sexist with a smile". Berkeley Beacon. Archived from the original on 20 March 2015. Retrieved 9 December 2014.
- ^ Dasgupta, Rivu. "The Friend Zone is Sexist". The Maneater. Retrieved 1 November 2014.
- ^ Can Babies Tell Right From Wrong?, Babies at Yale University's Infant Cognition Center respond to "naughty" and "nice" puppets., May 5, 2010
- ^ Researchers Trace Empathy's Roots to Infancy, Daniel Goleman, 1989
- ^ D Goleman, Emotional Intelligence (London 1996) p. 98-9
- ^ A Phillips/B Taylor, On Kindness (London 2009) p. 112
- ^ A Phillips/B Taylor, On Kindness (London 2009) p. 96 and p. 12
- ^ TirukkuṛaḷArchived 2014-12-16 at the Wayback Machine verses 71-80
- ^ Pope, George Uglow (1886). The Sacred Kurral of Tiruvalluva Nayanar (PDF) (First ed.). New Delhi: Asian Educational Services. ISBN 8120600223.
- ^ Lorette M. Enochs (21 November 2016). Seeds of Recovery: A Journal of 101 Mental Health Reflections. AuthorHouse. p. 76. ISBN 978-1-5246-5181-7.
- ^ Lagrette Tallent Lenker, Fathers and Daughters in Shakespeare and Shaw (2001) p. 107
- ^ robert Louis Stevenson, Virginibus Puerisque (London 1909) p. 35
- ^ Galatians 5:22, New International Version
- ^ 1 Corinthians 13:4, New International Version
- ^ Archived at Ghostarchive and the Wayback Machine: "Kindness Boomerang". YouTube/Life Vest Inside. Retrieved 14 January 2016.
- ^ "TED Talk - Kindness - Orly Wahba", YouTube/TED Conferences. Retrieved January 14, 2016.
- ^ "'Small changes make a big difference': Harry Styles tells the story of Treat People with Kindness".
- ^ Malti, Tina (2021-09-03). "Kindness: a perspective from developmental psychology". European Journal of Developmental Psychology. 18 (5): 629–657. doi:10.1080/17405629.2020.1837617. ISSN 1740-5629.
- ^ Datu, Jesus Alfonso D.; Valdez, Jana Patricia M.; McInerney, Dennis M.; Cayubit, Ryan Francis (May 2022). "The effects of gratitude and kindness on life satisfaction, positive emotions, negative emotions, and COVID‐19 anxiety: An online pilot experimental study". Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. 14 (2): 347–361. doi:10.1111/aphw.12306. ISSN 1758-0846. PMC 8652666. PMID 34668323.
- ^ Datu, Jesus Alfonso D.; Lin, Xunyi (June 2022). "The Mental Health Benefits of kind University Climate: Perception of Kindness at University Relates to Longitudinal Increases in Well-Being". Applied Research in Quality of Life. 17 (3): 1663–1680. doi:10.1007/s11482-021-09981-z. ISSN 1871-2584.
Further reading
- RABBI-UL-AWWAL (July 1998). "What is Kindness to Parents?". Islamic Voice. 12–07 (139).
- El-Sayed M. Amin. "Kindness to a Non-Muslim Neighbor: Tips for Interaction". Society. Islam Online. Archived from the original on 2005-08-28. Retrieved 2005-11-22.
- Forget Survival of the Fittest: It Is Kindness That Counts (January 2017), Scientific American. "A psychologist probes how altruism, Darwinism, and neurobiology mean that we can succeed by not being cutthroat."
External links
The dictionary definition of kindness at Wiktionary
- Australian Kindness Movement
- A UK independent, not-for-profit organisation
- Random Acts of Kindness Foundation
- Video with quotes about Kindness, from Wikiquote