WikiProject United States / Texas | (Rated Start-class, Low-importance) | |||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Draft article
Hello! I'm Katrina, here on behalf of the Ion. I'd like to suggest some improvements to the Wikipedia article about the innovation district. I'll be submitting requests here on the Talk page instead of editing the article myself, in order to comply with the site's conflict of interest rules. Per User:Drmies, who has already complimented the quality of the draft at a glance and requested clarification about my COI at User talk:KB Ion, allow me to confirm my employment.
I'm here because there are many problems with the current Wikipedia article. For example, the text relies heavily on press releases, company websites, government documents, and Rice's student newspaper over secondary journalistic sources. Additionally, the article seems heavily skewed, focusing on the community benefits agreement (CBA) and funding more than the campus and facilities. There is also some incorrect text and some outdated information. For these reasons, I've worked to draft a much improved Wikipedia article, which I've saved here for editors to review: User:KB Ion/Ion District.
In terms of overall structure, my draft starts by giving readers a description of the district, with subsections dedicated to the Ion building and Greentown Labs. Then, the History section focuses on the district's development as well as the CBA. I've further subdivided the development section to separate text about tenants and property management from the district's partnerships and accelerators. I believe this is an improvement over the current layout, which leads with History then prioritizes the CBA and funding details before actually providing readers with an overview of the campus and facilities. I realize there's a lot of content here to review, so I'll be submitting a series of requests to address the issues I've identified, and I hope editors can use my draft to copy over content appropriately.
Add proposed "Description" section and remove existing "Campus section"
Currently, the Wikipedia article starts with History and ends with a Description of the campus. However, I think the article should actually do the reverse, and start by introducing readers to the topic. Therefore, I propose leading with the Description section I've proposed in my draft, which provides a general overview of the innovation district and has subsections dedicated to the Ion building and Greentown Labs. If this text seems reasonable, then I would also propose removing the current Campus section at the bottom of the page, which is merely an unsourced table with three entries. (You'll see I've kept both images in my draft.)
The Description section I've proposed uses journalistic sources such as the Houston Chronicle, Fast Company, Houstonia magazine, and local news outlets. The same cannot be said for the current Campus section, which has no sources. I understand text on Wikipedia must be neutral and based on quality sources, and I've tried my hardest to be accurate and fair to all sides involved in this project. If reviewing even just the Description section is too big for an initial ask, I'm happy to break down my requests into smaller chunks, but I'm hoping editors will consider this draft section a significant improvement over the existing text.
Can someone please review what I've proposed and copy over the content appropriately? I will be keeping an eye on the article and this Talk page, so I am happy to answer questions or address any concerns which may arise during this process. I'm looking forward to working with editors to improve this page.
Thanks! KB Ion (talk) 17:52, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
History
@PK650: Thanks for reviewing the above request and adding the Description section to the article.
Next, I'd like to tackle the History section. Currently, this section has a few helpful facts about the former Sears building, but also there's some unnecessary information. For example, the text says HR&A Advisors has "offices in New York and various other cities", and also mentions the media and press contacts.
I propose replacing this section with the History section I've proposed here, which has subsections for Development and the Community benefits agreement. Furthermore, the Development section has sub-sections specific to Tenants and property management and Partnerships and accelerators. Recognizing this is a lot to review at once, I'm willing to focus on just the first four paragraphs of the Development section for now, if that's easier.
The current History section uses the HR&A Advisors website as a citation multiple times, as well as the Ion website and a press release. I don't believe these are supposed to be used on Wikipedia, so I've drafted an overview of the district as a whole based on reputable news coverage. I propose replacing the current History section, and if the tenants/property management and partnerships/accelerators content is also approved, then I propose removing the current Facilities section because these topics are covered elsewhere. I'm happy to tackle the CBA and funding sections separately if preferred.
Can User:PK650 or another editor please review my proposed draft and update appropriately? Thanks again for your help! KB Ion (talk) 20:02, 10 June 2022 (UTC)