Now it can be told
As I can say with confidence during my time with Wikipedia, a lot has happened. Some good, some bad, some of it infuriating. Perhaps a bit of background would help. Running my thoughts back to some of the cases I went through, it's amazing sometimes how frustrated people can get. Like.. well.. wait I still can't get into that case, I'm not sure the statue of Wiki-Limitations has expired.
Fans and Foes alike of Wikipedia have taken me to task for what I did do, or what I didn't do in my time on Wikipedia, but I can say there's one motion that folks on the Committee will remember me for. Originally this is for one of the most emotionally charged cases I can remember seeing before the Committee. Omnibus cases are never fun, because of the sheer amount of issues and people who get dragged in kicking and screaming, and the Committee gets yelled at. Like, seriously, does anyone think any one think that we like the abuse we take in the job?
But anyway, enough of the hidden messages and meanings, let's get to the meat of the matter. In this case, we were all frustrated and unhappy, so, in an attempt to provide a bit of humor and break the tension, I proposed a motion on the mailing list. I reproduce it now.
Principles
1) Humans are Fallible
Humans aren't Perfect. Despite their best efforts, Human beings are fallible creatures.
2) Wikipedia Editors
In all known cases, Wikipedia accounts are either controlled by people, or are bots programmed by people.
3) Good behavior does not excuse Bad Behavior.
Even when the vast majority of edits are positive, this does not provide an excuse for repeated violations of Wikipedia's norms and policies.
Findings of Fact
1) Humanity has caused problems on Wikipedia All vandalism, arguments, and violations of norms on Wikipedia is done by humans, either via registered pseudonymous accounts, or as unregistered users, generally identified by their IP address. Despite numerous warnings, restrictions, and bans, humans have continued to blatantly flout Wikipedia's norms and policies.
Remedies
1) Homo Sapiens Banned From Wikipedia
As lesser sanctions have failed to solve this issue.. All accounts and IP addresses that can be reasonably construed to come from members of the genus Homo Sapiens are banned from Wikipedia. This ban is indefinite until lifted by a new Arbitration Committee, to be headed by beings not banned from Wikipedia.
I think back now, and wonder what would have happened if that motion had appeared on Wikipedia. I guess we'll never know.. but now it can be told.
(yes, it's early april fool's.. but this is a bit of humor produced in August of last year, when I played a small humorous prank on the Clerks mailing list, and it was suggested as punishment, I be forcibly drafted to write the case. I cam up with that on the spur of the moment, and I've saved it ever since for this April Fool's) SirFozzie (talk) 04:09, 31 March 2015 (UTC)