GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 03:48, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
I'll get to this one shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:48, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
- No DABs
- Images appropriately licensed
- instructor but also Is this proper NZ/Aus English? 'Cause I was taught that "but" is almost always preceded by a comma. There are more of these scattered throughout.
- Tell the reader what type of aircraft a Walrus is
- Move the link to Outram to the lede and add a link for Otago
- with
theHMS Courageous and Ark Royal in the next sentence
- At one stage while aboard the Ark Royal, Substitute the date for "at one stage" and close proximity alert for Ark Royal, use a pronoun for the second use.
- The RAF's role in the Norwegian Campaign was pretty limited, but is this all that he did during it?
- Do you know the name of the destroyer?
- Link lifeboat, launch
- Any more detail on wife, any kids?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:00, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
- Only that his wife was four years older than him, which I didn't think added much. I haven't been able to locate an obit. Sturm, thanks for taking a look at this one. My edits are here and I have responded above as well. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:53, 28 November 2020 (UTC)
- Fair enough. If you're thinking about taking this further, I'd like to see more information on his activities in Norway. Flying off a Hurricane to Trondheim seems like he was making a delivery flight or something.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 12:33, 28 November 2020 (UTC)