GA Review
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Reviewer: Candyo32 00:52, 23 November 2010 (UTC)
Sorry it took so long. I just kept putting it off for so long, but I won't ever hold of on another one this long! :)
Background
- The whole quote should be in quotes and quotes within that quote denoted with 'dlfkajlsdk'
- Uncap magnum opus.
Composition
- Link pop, gospel and R&B.
Critical reception
- Good
Chart performance
- What rules kept it from charting?
- As she reaches the properties outskirts, Carey mounts a horse; which assists her in jumping over the barbed fence. --> replace ; with ,
Live performances
- Usage of "older" is iffy, maybe "previous" instead?
Good work, easy fixes, and on the way to GA! Candyo32 - Merry CHRISTmas :) 23:47, 12 December 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks Candy. I'm all done. I really don't want to touch the wuote, it isn't breaking any rules and is a direct quote from her. Thanks :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 04:58, 13 December 2010 (UTC)
- Well its not that it is a direct quote, it is just that quotes " " cannot be inside " " quotes, therefore the usage of ' '. I'll makes some more fixes as it meets the GA criteria, and nothing critical is going on that needs to be addressed such as in a FAC. Good job. I'll fix the quote and a few grammar issues. Candyo32 - Merry CHRISTmas :) 23:19, 13 December 2010 (UTC)
- Oh okay. Thank you :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 23:22, 13 December 2010 (UTC)
- Well its not that it is a direct quote, it is just that quotes " " cannot be inside " " quotes, therefore the usage of ' '. I'll makes some more fixes as it meets the GA criteria, and nothing critical is going on that needs to be addressed such as in a FAC. Good job. I'll fix the quote and a few grammar issues. Candyo32 - Merry CHRISTmas :) 23:19, 13 December 2010 (UTC)
Further comments
- "As she reaches the properties outskirts, Carey mounts a horse; which assists her in jumping over the barbed fence." Needs rewriting for grammar and clarity.
- "The video drew many comparisons to the rumors of Carey's deteriorating marriage at the time." Completely ungrammatical.
- "The video begins with with scenes of a man's man leaving his home one early morning; only his feet are shown." "man's man?
- "As she walks down the stairs, Carey sits on the staircase, lamenting in agony at her loneliness." ???? This is extremely poor prose.
- "On September 17th," see MoS on dates.
- "The song was sung during her Butterfly World Tour in 1998, throughout every show." Really? One song sung throughout every show?
- "The performance featured the same musicians on set, with the exception of Afanasieff, who was absent." Well, if he was absent he couldn't have performed, could he? Poor rpose.
- "The performances served as the closing song on the set-list" What the whole performance was the closing song. What is meant here?
- "Similar props and set-up were used for the following shows of the tour, with the addition on the "Fly Away (Butterfly Reprise)" addition at the show's finale." Meaningless, almost garbage.
- See Wikipedia:MOS#Quotations, the section about quotations within quotations.
- "After contemplating on the matter, Carey re-wrote "Fly Away" in ballad form, and incorporated new lyrics and vocals." "After contemplating on"?
- "Due to current conflict with Columbia, "Butterfly" was never issued a commercial release, therefore hindering its charting ability." "never issued a commercial release"? Al;so, if it was never released commercially, how come the infobox has label as Columbia and format as CD single?
On the basis of the above, I would recommend a fail on the grounds of extremely poorly written prose. This should never have been nominated with out being copy-edited. WP:GAN nominees should meet the Ga criteria. It is a waste of everyone's time nominating sub-standard material. Jezhotwells (talk) 11:37, 13 December 2010 (UTC)
- Did anyone ask for you're nasty and rude opinion and/or comments. Didn't think so.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 22:46, 13 December 2010 (UTC)