→No Way Out (2004): work to do on the writing |
→No Way Out (2004): ccm |
||
Line 18: | Line 18: | ||
*"tag team match"—link it? (or maybe you did on first occurrence). |
*"tag team match"—link it? (or maybe you did on first occurrence). |
||
*Clumsy sentence structure: "Bradshaw performed a high impact forearm attack—called the Clothesline from Hell—on Haas." Why note "Bradshaw performed a high impact forearm "Clothesline from Hell" attack on Haas." [[User:Tony1|<font color="darkgreen">'''Tony'''</font >]] [[User talk:Tony1|<font color="darkgreen">(talk)</font >]] 05:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC) |
*Clumsy sentence structure: "Bradshaw performed a high impact forearm attack—called the Clothesline from Hell—on Haas." Why note "Bradshaw performed a high impact forearm "Clothesline from Hell" attack on Haas." [[User:Tony1|<font color="darkgreen">'''Tony'''</font >]] [[User talk:Tony1|<font color="darkgreen">(talk)</font >]] 05:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC) |
||
*'''Oppose''' per Tony. I'd be willing to switch to support or maybe neutral if you do what Tony suggested. <span style="font-family: tahoma">'''[[User:iMatthew|<span style="color:#900">iMa<span style="color:#090">tth<span style="color:#4682b4">ew</span>]] ([[User talk:IMatthew|talk]])'''</span> 11:32, 4 October 2008 (UTC) |
Revision as of 11:32, 4 October 2008
No Way Out (2004)
- Nominator(s): User:SRX
- previous FAC (00:05, 28 March 2008)
Toolbox |
---|
This article has been nominated for Featured Article status twice, and failed twice due to prose problems, reliable sources, jargon, fiction, plot, and in-universe, thus not meeting the Featured Article criteria. Since the revisions from the first nomination, and the second nomination, I heavily improve the article with others help as well, current revision. The article now has improved prose to comply with WP:FICTION, WP:PLOT, WP:IN-U, WP:JARGON, and WP:RS, and has improvements based on previous wrestling FAC's.--SRX 02:36, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
Oppose—It's not a "quick-fail", which means I believe it's within reach of the requirement for a professional standard of prose in the short time on this list. Please find someone fresh to the article to copy-edit it carefully. Here are some pointers, on random examples from just the top.
- Compared with for contrasts, not to.
- Outside of—spot the redundant word.
- Watch those long, cumbersome sentences that could be split: "The feud between Lesnar and Goldberg began at the Royal Rumble, WWE's previous pay-per-view event which featured both brands, where Lesnar interfered in the Royal Rumble match, a 30-man battle royal, attacking and eliminating Goldberg from the match." And others.
- Remove "who was" from previous sentence. There's a slight overuse of "that was", "which was", "who was", which can sometimes be reworded using a different grammatical construction to avoid tedium.
- "in which they insulted each other" (not "the" other) ...?
- "Battle royal" sounds like POV.
- "front-row ticket". Check for any other double adjectives that might be better hyphenated.
- "A storyline was written"—passive voice necessary? You might audit for this—some passives are OK, but only where they avoid cumbersome wording or have some other purpose, such as not needing to state the agent.
- "tag team match"—link it? (or maybe you did on first occurrence).
- Clumsy sentence structure: "Bradshaw performed a high impact forearm attack—called the Clothesline from Hell—on Haas." Why note "Bradshaw performed a high impact forearm "Clothesline from Hell" attack on Haas." Tony (talk) 05:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC)