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In interpersonal communication, an '''I-message''' is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. [[Thomas Gordon (psychologist)|Thomas Gordon]] coined the term ''"I message"'' in the 1960s.<ref |
In interpersonal communication, an '''I-message''' is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. [[Thomas Gordon (psychologist)|Thomas Gordon]] coined the term ''"I message"'' in the 1960s.<ref>[[#refGordon1995|Gordon 1995]] p. xiii</ref> |
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==Description== |
==Description== |
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*the effect of that behavior on the speaker |
*the effect of that behavior on the speaker |
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*the speaker's feelings about that effect |
*the speaker's feelings about that effect |
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He describes the I-message as an appeal for help from the other person, and states that the other person is more likely to respond positively when the message is presented in that way.<ref |
He describes the I-message as an appeal for help from the other person, and states that the other person is more likely to respond positively when the message is presented in that way.<ref>[[#refGordon1995|Gordon 1995]] p. 112</ref> |
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==Research== |
==Research== |
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A study in [[Hong Kong]] of children's reactions to messages from their mothers found that children are most receptive to I-messages that reveal distress, and most antagonistic towards critical you-messages.<ref |
A study in [[Hong Kong]] of children's reactions to messages from their mothers found that children are most receptive to I-messages that reveal distress, and most antagonistic towards critical you-messages.<ref>[[#refCheung2003|Cheung 2003]] p. 3-14</ref> A study with university students as subjects <!-- (since clearly [http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=601983 this] is the same study)--> did not find differences in emotional reactions to I-messages and you-messages for negative emotions, but did find differences in reactions for positive emotions.<ref> {{cite journal |last=Bippus |first=Amy M. |authorlink= |coauthors=Stacy L. Young |year=2005 |month= |title=Owning Your Emotions: Reactions to Expressions of Self- versus Other-Attributed Positive and Negative Emotions |journal=Journal of Applied Communication Research |volume=33 |issue=1 |pages=26-45 |id=DOI 10.1080/0090988042000318503 |url=http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~content=a714023761~db=all |accessdate=2008-08-23 |quote= }} </ref> |
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==Use of the concept== |
==Use of the concept== |
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A book about [[mentoring]] states that communications specialists find that I-messages are a less threatening way to confront someone one wants to influence, and suggests a three-part I-message: a neutral description of planned behaviour, consequences of the behaviour, and the [[emotions]] of the speaker about the situation.<ref> |
A book about [[mentoring]] states that communications specialists find that I-messages are a less threatening way to confront someone one wants to influence, and suggests a three-part I-message: a neutral description of planned behaviour, consequences of the behaviour, and the [[emotions]] of the speaker about the situation.<ref>[[#refShea2001|Shea 2001]] p. 50</ref> |
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A manual for [[health care]] workers calls I-messages an "important skill", but emphasizes that use of an I-message does not guarantee that the other person will respond in a helpful way. It presents an I-message as a way that one can take responsibility for one's own feelings and express them without blaming someone else.<ref> |
A manual for [[health care]] workers calls I-messages an "important skill", but emphasizes that use of an I-message does not guarantee that the other person will respond in a helpful way. It presents an I-message as a way that one can take responsibility for one's own feelings and express them without blaming someone else.<ref>[[#refDavis1996|Davis 1996]] p. 100</ref> A manual for social workers presents I-messages as a technnique with the purpose of improving the effectiveness of communication.<ref>{{cite book |title=Techniques and Guidelines for Social Work Practice |last=Sheafor |first=Bradford W. |authorlink= |coauthors=Charles R. Horejsi, Gloria A. Horejsi |year=1996 |publisher=Allyn and Bacon (Original from the University of Michigan) |location= |isbn=0205191770, 9780205191772 |pages=166 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=dFxHAAAAMAAJ&q=I-message+you-message&dq=I-message+you-message&lr=&ei=Ha1VSJzrFYSKjAH7mMSUDA&pgis=1 }}</ref> |
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== References == |
== References == |
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{{reflist}} |
{{reflist}} |
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==Sources== |
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*<cite id=refGordon1995>{{cite book |title=Making the patient your partner: Communication Skills for Doctors and Other Caregivers|last=Gordon |first=Thomas |authorlink= |coauthors=W. Sterling Edwards |year=1995 |publisher=Greenwood Publishing Group |location= |isbn=0865692556, 9780865692558 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=reUHRfGBpicC&pg=PA112&dq=I-message+three-part&ei=HahVSI6xKqe6jgHp8YyaDA&sig=YGPeYtK1BkrFrEsXqvUI10btTNI }}</cite> |
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*<cite id=refGordon1995>{{cite book |title=Making the patient your partner: Communication Skills for Doctors and Other Caregivers|last=Gordon |first=Thomas |authorlink= |coauthors=W. Sterling Edwards |year=1995 |publisher=Greenwood Publishing Group |location= |isbn=0865692556, 9780865692558 |url=http://books.google.com/books?id=reUHRfGBpicC&pg=PA112&dq=I-message+three-part&ei=HahVSI6xKqe6jgHp8YyaDA&sig=YGPeYtK1BkrFrEsXqvUI10btTNI }}</cite> |
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*<cite id=refCheung2003> {{cite journal |last=Cheung |first=Siu-Kau |authorlink= |coauthors=Sylvia Y.C. Kwok |year=2003 |month= |title=How do Hong Kong children react to maternal I-messages and inductive reasoning? |journal=The Hong Kong Journal of Social Work |volume=37 |issue=1 |id= |url=http://www.worldscinet.com/cgi-bin/details.cgi?id=pii:S0219246203000020&type=html |accessdate=2008-08-23 |quote= }}</cite> |
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*<cite id=refShea2001>{{cite book |title=How to Develop Successful Mentor Behaviors |last=Shea |first=Gordon |authorlink= |coauthors= |year=2001 |publisher=Thomas Crisp Learning |location= |isbn=1560526424 |url=http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=DAP4Tz2LZ-kC&oi=fnd&pg=PA3&dq=I-message+you-message&ots=Ayx652m44u&sig=PENh_J0yoEa4iPZK_CxCr7WkE8A#PPA50,M1 }}</cite> |
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*<cite id=refDavis1996>{{cite book |title=Patient Practitioner Interaction: An Experiential Manual for Developing the Art of Health Care |edition=4th |last=Davis |first=Carol M. |authorlink= |coauthors= |year= |publisher=SLACK Incorporated |location= |isbn=1556427204, 9781556427206 |url=http://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=fUuQHcdVUcIC&oi=fnd&pg=PA95&dq=I-message+you-message&ots=d3DwLcyL8_&sig=rbRRcDt2XNXceQhi5Nm_Ex-LTeo#PPA100,M1 }}</cite> |
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[[Category:Psychology]] |
[[Category:Psychology]] |
Revision as of 12:27, 6 September 2008
In interpersonal communication, an I-message is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. Thomas Gordon coined the term "I message" in the 1960s.[1]
Description
Gordon advises that to use an I-message successfully, there should be congruence between the words one is using and one's affect, tone of voice, facial expression and body language. Gordon also describes a 3-part I-message, called a "confrontive" I-message, with the following parts:
- non-blameful description of the listener's behavior
- the effect of that behavior on the speaker
- the speaker's feelings about that effect
He describes the I-message as an appeal for help from the other person, and states that the other person is more likely to respond positively when the message is presented in that way.[2]
Research
A study in Hong Kong of children's reactions to messages from their mothers found that children are most receptive to I-messages that reveal distress, and most antagonistic towards critical you-messages.[3] A study with university students as subjects did not find differences in emotional reactions to I-messages and you-messages for negative emotions, but did find differences in reactions for positive emotions.[4]
Use of the concept
A book about mentoring states that communications specialists find that I-messages are a less threatening way to confront someone one wants to influence, and suggests a three-part I-message: a neutral description of planned behaviour, consequences of the behaviour, and the emotions of the speaker about the situation.[5]
A manual for health care workers calls I-messages an "important skill", but emphasizes that use of an I-message does not guarantee that the other person will respond in a helpful way. It presents an I-message as a way that one can take responsibility for one's own feelings and express them without blaming someone else.[6] A manual for social workers presents I-messages as a technnique with the purpose of improving the effectiveness of communication.[7]
References
- ^ Gordon 1995 p. xiii
- ^ Gordon 1995 p. 112
- ^ Cheung 2003 p. 3-14
- ^ Bippus, Amy M. (2005). "Owning Your Emotions: Reactions to Expressions of Self- versus Other-Attributed Positive and Negative Emotions". Journal of Applied Communication Research. 33 (1): 26–45. DOI 10.1080/0090988042000318503. Retrieved 2008-08-23.
{{cite journal}}
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ignored (|author=
suggested) (help) - ^ Shea 2001 p. 50
- ^ Davis 1996 p. 100
- ^ Sheafor, Bradford W. (1996). Techniques and Guidelines for Social Work Practice. Allyn and Bacon (Original from the University of Michigan). p. 166. ISBN 0205191770, 9780205191772.
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Sources
- Gordon, Thomas (1995). Making the patient your partner: Communication Skills for Doctors and Other Caregivers. Greenwood Publishing Group. ISBN 0865692556, 9780865692558.
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(help) - Davis, Carol M. Patient Practitioner Interaction: An Experiential Manual for Developing the Art of Health Care (4th ed.). SLACK Incorporated. ISBN 1556427204, 9781556427206.
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