ScottishFinnishRadish (talk | contribs) →Semi-protected edit request on 16 November 2021: rv blank request Tag: Manual revert |
→WP:URFA/2020 and reverted changes: adding info, phrasing |
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The Terry Fox organization declares that they have raised $850 million CAD, not $800 million CAD, as is suggested by the first paragraph |
The Terry Fox organization declares that they have raised $850 million CAD, not $800 million CAD, as is suggested by the first paragraph |
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:Do you have a source for that? [[User:Nikkimaria|Nikkimaria]] ([[User talk:Nikkimaria|talk]]) 02:04, 16 September 2021 (UTC) |
:Do you have a source for that? [[User:Nikkimaria|Nikkimaria]] ([[User talk:Nikkimaria|talk]]) 02:04, 16 September 2021 (UTC) |
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== [[WP:URFA/2020]] and reverted changes == |
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Hi {{re|Slp1}}, {{re|Resolute}} and other talk page watchers: I am conducting a review of this article as part of [[WP:URFA/2020]], an initiative to review [[WP:FA|featured articles]] that were promoted before 2016 and hopefully help them maintain their [[WP:FA?|FA status]]. As I was reviewing, I was making edits to the article to address various concerns under [[WP:BEBOLD]]. Some of my proposed edits were reverted, so I want to discuss these changes on this talk page to get other editor's opinions. I am also going to pause my edits here, and instead make comments below on how I think this article can be improved: I want to avoid an FAR (and I don't think this article needs one if concerns are addressed) because there is already such a [[WP:FARGIVEN|backlog of articles that are slated to brought to FAR]] (and frankly, those articles are generally in worse condition than this one.) |
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Some of the language that I wanted to change or remove are listed below in quotes. My rationale for the changes are described after the quote, and I hope others will give their thoughts on these proposed changes: |
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*"people from all walks of life lent their support to his run and his memory inspires pride in all regions of the country.": I was concerned that this lanaguage had an [[MOS:IDIOM]] with "all walks of life" and wanted to use different language. I felt "his memory inspires pride in all regions of the country" was not [[WP:NPOV]] and was too general to be understood by some editors on Wikipedia. I proposed changing this to, "people with various backgrounds supported to his run." although it doesn't have to be this exact language. |
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*I removed this text: "As Fox's advocate on ''The Greatest Canadian'', media personality [[Sook-Yin Lee]] compared him to a classic hero, [[Phidippides]], the runner who delivered the news of the [[Battle of Marathon]] before dying, and asserted that Fox "embodies the most cherished Canadian values: compassion, commitment, perseverance". She highlighted the juxtaposition between his celebrity, brought about by the unforgettable image he created, and his rejection of the trappings of that celebrity." I felt that this section had too much detail about Fox's profile on The Greatest Canadian. As this section already had information about his inclusion on the show, I felt this information was unneeded in this article and was too much detail for what is essentially only Sook-Yin Lee's opinion. |
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*I removed the following quote from Fox's mother: "She recalled, "He said, 'I thought you'd be one of the first persons to believe in me.' And I wasn't. I was the first person who let him down"." The preceeding sentence described how Fox's mother initially discouraged Fox from conducting his marathon, so I felt this quote was unnecessary as the information she described was already established in the article. |
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I do not think the other reversions that were made are important enough to note here: many were changes of minor grammar, flow or phrasing significance that I do not think are worth mentioning or changing back. Since some editors had concerns over my edits, I did not conduct additional changes to the article. Here are additional concerns that I have to the article: |
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*The Honours section has bullet points, lots of short sentences, and feels disorganised. I suggest that this section be rewritten as completely prose (no bullet points) and the information arranged thematically. I am happy to conduct this rewrite if others are willing for this to proceed. |
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*The paragraph starting with "Rock musician Ian Thomas had" needs a citation |
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*The "Steve Fonyo and Rick Hansen" talks about their connection to Fox, but I am unclear as to how Fox inspired the two people to conduct their own initiatives. This connection should be more explicit. |
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*The currency section should probably be merged into Honours. |
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*Some book references are included in the Bibliography, while others are only listed in the Citations section. This should be standardised. |
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Please ping me in responses. [[User:Z1720|Z1720]] ([[User talk:Z1720|talk]]) 23:58, 29 December 2021 (UTC) |
Revision as of 00:10, 30 December 2021
![]() | Terry Fox is a featured article; it (or a previous version of it) has been identified as one of the best articles produced by the Wikipedia community. Even so, if you can update or improve it, please do so. | ||||||||||||
![]() | This article appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page as Today's featured article on September 19, 2010. | ||||||||||||
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Current status: Featured article |
![]() | This article is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Semi-protected edit request on 3 November 2020
In the fourth paragraph of "Early life and cancer", change "enrol" to "enroll" (first sentence). 99.199.132.83 (talk) 06:15, 3 November 2020 (UTC)
- Declined. "Enrol" seems to be preferred in Canadian English. Clarityfiend (talk) 09:33, 3 November 2020 (UTC)
Suggested Title Change
Instead of "attitudes to disability"; what about, "view on disability,"? Attitudes to disability most certainly can be read in a negative connotation which isn't viewpoint neutral. I would love for someone more well versed in Wiki editing to assist in this manner if it is agreeable. 24.255.224.90 (talk) 03:34, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
Ok. "This article has been viewed enough times in a single week to appear in the Top 25 Report. The week in which this happened: September 13 to 19, 2020." Not ONE single editor has the time to even respond to my request? The article is locked & I can't edit it myself otherwise I would have. Someone fix this or otherwise, make an articulable argument as to why it should not be changed.24.255.224.90 (talk) 03:01, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
- "Attitudes to disability" isn't even good English. I've changed the section title. Clarityfiend (talk) 08:15, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
- JFC, Where have you been? Thank you! Way better, including my suggested edit. Merci! 24.255.224.90 (talk) 04:35, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
Statistic change
The Terry Fox organization declares that they have raised $850 million CAD, not $800 million CAD, as is suggested by the first paragraph
- Do you have a source for that? Nikkimaria (talk) 02:04, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
WP:URFA/2020 and reverted changes
Hi @Slp1:, @Resolute: and other talk page watchers: I am conducting a review of this article as part of WP:URFA/2020, an initiative to review featured articles that were promoted before 2016 and hopefully help them maintain their FA status. As I was reviewing, I was making edits to the article to address various concerns under WP:BEBOLD. Some of my proposed edits were reverted, so I want to discuss these changes on this talk page to get other editor's opinions. I am also going to pause my edits here, and instead make comments below on how I think this article can be improved: I want to avoid an FAR (and I don't think this article needs one if concerns are addressed) because there is already such a backlog of articles that are slated to brought to FAR (and frankly, those articles are generally in worse condition than this one.)
Some of the language that I wanted to change or remove are listed below in quotes. My rationale for the changes are described after the quote, and I hope others will give their thoughts on these proposed changes:
- "people from all walks of life lent their support to his run and his memory inspires pride in all regions of the country.": I was concerned that this lanaguage had an MOS:IDIOM with "all walks of life" and wanted to use different language. I felt "his memory inspires pride in all regions of the country" was not WP:NPOV and was too general to be understood by some editors on Wikipedia. I proposed changing this to, "people with various backgrounds supported to his run." although it doesn't have to be this exact language.
- I removed this text: "As Fox's advocate on The Greatest Canadian, media personality Sook-Yin Lee compared him to a classic hero, Phidippides, the runner who delivered the news of the Battle of Marathon before dying, and asserted that Fox "embodies the most cherished Canadian values: compassion, commitment, perseverance". She highlighted the juxtaposition between his celebrity, brought about by the unforgettable image he created, and his rejection of the trappings of that celebrity." I felt that this section had too much detail about Fox's profile on The Greatest Canadian. As this section already had information about his inclusion on the show, I felt this information was unneeded in this article and was too much detail for what is essentially only Sook-Yin Lee's opinion.
- I removed the following quote from Fox's mother: "She recalled, "He said, 'I thought you'd be one of the first persons to believe in me.' And I wasn't. I was the first person who let him down"." The preceeding sentence described how Fox's mother initially discouraged Fox from conducting his marathon, so I felt this quote was unnecessary as the information she described was already established in the article.
I do not think the other reversions that were made are important enough to note here: many were changes of minor grammar, flow or phrasing significance that I do not think are worth mentioning or changing back. Since some editors had concerns over my edits, I did not conduct additional changes to the article. Here are additional concerns that I have to the article:
- The Honours section has bullet points, lots of short sentences, and feels disorganised. I suggest that this section be rewritten as completely prose (no bullet points) and the information arranged thematically. I am happy to conduct this rewrite if others are willing for this to proceed.
- The paragraph starting with "Rock musician Ian Thomas had" needs a citation
- The "Steve Fonyo and Rick Hansen" talks about their connection to Fox, but I am unclear as to how Fox inspired the two people to conduct their own initiatives. This connection should be more explicit.
- The currency section should probably be merged into Honours.
- Some book references are included in the Bibliography, while others are only listed in the Citations section. This should be standardised.
Please ping me in responses. Z1720 (talk) 23:58, 29 December 2021 (UTC)